


Ranboo's D&D Adventure With Tubbo

by AzureDiamond51



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adventure, Bad medical practices, Characters Play Dungeons & Dragons, Crack, D&D, Fantasy Violence, Gen, Guns, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Injury, Inspired by Twitch, Mild Blood, Ranboo just woke up and chose violence it seems, Roleplay, Swords, Tubbo directs D&D for the first time, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29307384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzureDiamond51/pseuds/AzureDiamond51
Summary: Tubbo: “Let’s play Dungeons And Dragons right now”Ranboo: “Right now...?”Tubbo: “Okay.”typing“D… n… d… online…”reading off a website in the backgroundRanboo: “You can’t just- you can’t just- you can’t just like, randomly- that’s not how it- that’s not... that’s not how it works…”Tubbo: “Alright! Alright!”Ranboo, laughing: “That’s not how it works.”Tubbo: “You wake up in a… in a… cellar.”Ranboo: “Waitwhat?”Alternatively, Tubbo takes Ranboo on a D&D adventure on-stream, and I write a crackfic of the story they told in eight minutes.--------------Several minutes of running down the road later, Ranboo comes across a small semi-permanent shop set up at the side of the road. Stomach rumbling with hunger, he goes to reach for his coin pouch in his backpack. Finding it empty, he casts a wistful look at the shop. An idea crosses his mind, and Ranboo thinks,”I’ve already broken out of a makeshift jail cell, stolen a holy sword, and knocked out an innocent man. What’s a little bit of armed robbery?”
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	Ranboo's D&D Adventure With Tubbo

**Author's Note:**

> On Ranboo's stream yesterday (February 8th), he spent most of the time in VC with Tubbo just goofing around. From 2:55:10 to 3:03:15 in the VOD (titled "Making a new home || DreamSMP") Tubbo lead Ranboo through a pseudo version of D&D, and I decided to write a crackfic of the adventure they went on. I had to take a few creative liberties with the plot to make it work, but everything that happened in the stream happens here. If I can find a YouTube video of the segment, I'll edit in a link into this note.
> 
> Enjoy!

Head pounding and with sore eyes, Ranboo slowly blinks his eyes as he wakes up, alone in a small room. His hands are chained in old, rusty shackles, and around him are kegs and shelves piled with sacks. Makeshift bars divide the room, separating him from the stairs leading out of the cellar, and a thin layer of water covers most of the floor. “Ow… What…?” Ranboo mutters to himself, raising a hand to a sore spot on the side of his head. “Oh. Right.” He sighs as the memories of what got him into this mess come back. A bar fight, started when the bouncer tried to eject the teen from the building when all he wanted to do was come in and retrieve his friend. His friend who ran away as soon as the fight started, he’d like to add.

With a sigh, Ranboo mutters as he holds his hands in front of him to look at the shackles around his wrists, “Guess I gotta get out of here.” Examining the shackles, he notices that their grip around him is fairly loose, even being at their tightest setting. _”I should be able to slip out of these.”_ Ranboo thinks as he starts contorting his hands around, trying to get his thumbs at such an angle that his hands can slide free from their bonds. Eventually, he manages to slip free of the shackles, and rises to his feet.

Making his way to the bars, he quietly laughs to himself as he observes the distance between each bar. Clearly the makers of this makeshift holding cell expected more muscular, larger-built patrons to be kept inside, not a slighter enderman hybrid like himself. Letting out a long exhale to make his chest as thin as possible, Ranboo turns himself sideways, and slowly slides himself between the bars, escaping the holding cell and getting into the main part of the cellar. Noticing his backpack in the corner of the room, he picks it up, slings it over his shoulders, and ascends the stairs to the trap door of the cellar.

Slowly opening the trap door, Ranboo pokes his head outside to look around. Not spotting anyone, he opens the trap door the rest of the way, and climbs out onto the grass behind the pub. Carefully, he closes the trap door again, making sure it doesn’t bang shut and make a loud noise. Quickly, he slinks over to the hedge several feet away and worms his way through the tight branches until he’s left the pub’s property. Pausing, he turns an ear back towards the pub, and listens to see if anyone’s noticed his departure.

Satisfied with the silence, Ranboo turns his attention back to the area behind the hedge, and stops as he sees a gilded sword embedded into a stone, surrounded by a ring of trees. “Woah… that’s a nice sword.” Ranboo whispers as his eyes widen upon seeing the glimmer of gold and silver in the hilt of the blade. He starts to wander over to the sword, curiosity getting the best of him.

As he approaches the tree line, he’s no longer paying attention to his footing, and his foot gets caught under a root and he trips. Falling, he flails his arms in an attempt to stop his fall, and instead just manages to slam his face against the trunk of the tree beside him. Pain shoots up through his jaw as he falls to the ground, and suddenly he tastes blood. “Oww…” Ranboo groans as he raises a hand up to his mouth, gingerly touching where his face collided with the tree. Pain stabs through his gums at the touch, and he’s almost certain a few teeth came loose. “Owww…” He groans again as he slowly pulls himself to his feet, head now spinning with dizziness.

Finally on his feet again, Ranboo redirects his attention back to the sword and slowly makes his way over to it, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. _”Probably have a concussion now…”_ Ranboo idly thinks as his head continues to spin.

From the path nearby the ring of trees, one of the townsfolk walks by, catches sight of Ranboo staggering to the sword, and suddenly starts walking over to him. The townsfolk calls out, “Hey, you, stop! This is a sacred land, state your name and purpose.” The townsfolk glares at him.

Panicking, Ranboo mentally runs through his options in his concussed haze. The first course of action that springs to mind is to grab the sword, so he does just that. Whirling around, he reaches out for the hilt of the blade, grabs onto it, and pulls. With the force of his panicking, Ranboo manages to yank on the sword so hard that not only does it come free from the stone, but the stone itself explodes and sends chunks of rocks everywhere. Miraculously, Ranboo remains unscathed, but the townsfolk isn’t so lucky. When Ranboo turns his attention back to the townsfolk, sword in hand, he sees that the man is now lying on the ground, chunks of stone around him, eyes closed and breathing softly with sleep.

“Oh.” Ranboo just mutters. “Well then.” He looks around, back towards the pub, at the man lying at his feet, to the probably-stolen sword resting in his hand, and then down the pathway leading away from the town. Ranboo raises the sword to take a closer look at it, and thinks, _”I probably shouldn’t have this.”_ Without another thought, he takes off running down the path and away from town, putting as much distance between him and his quickly growing list of crimes.

Several minutes of running down the road later, Ranboo comes across a small semi-permanent shop set up at the side of the road. Stomach rumbling with hunger, he goes to reach for his coin pouch in his backpack. Finding it empty, he casts a wistful look at the shop. An idea crosses his mind, and Ranboo thinks, _”I’ve already broken out of a makeshift jail cell, stolen a holy sword, and knocked out an innocent man. What’s a little bit of armed robbery?”_

With a shrug, Ranboo tightens his grip on his(?) sword and approaches the shop. Barging through the door, he says loudly, “Okay, hand over any valuables and food in this shop.” He raises the sword, making sure the shopkeeper can see the weapon.

As soon as the shopkeep’s eyes lock onto the sword, she squeaks in fear and immediately starts piling coins onto the counter, and gestures to the fresh produce on a nearby shelf. “Y- yes, of course, p- please don’t… hurt me…” She stammers out.

Without a word, Ranboo scoops up the coins and puts them into his coin pouch, and grabs several apples and carrots from the produce shelf. From the corner of his eye, he sees the shopkeep subtly, but not subtly enough, pulling on a rope that goes up to the ceiling, presumably to a bell on the roof to alert people outside to crimes being committed inside. Like the one Ranboo is committing _right now._ “Hey, no you don’t!” He says briskly as he lashes out with the sword, cutting the rope. The woman shrieks at the motion and throws herself backwards, falling to the floor. “Gotta get outta here…” Ranboo mutters as he dashes for the door and makes his way outside.

Once outside, Ranboo casts a look down the road, and sees two guards of the town running down the road towards him. “Oh come on!” He sighs as he turns away from them and starts running. A moment later he hears a loud _BANG!_ and a patch of road goes up in a puff of dust from an impact. _”Rifles?? Where did they get THOSE??”_ He thinks in a panic as he spins around, eyes wide in fright.

Seeing that the two guards are raising their rifles again, Ranboo raises his sword in an attempt to block the bullets about to come speeding his way. One bullet deflects off of his blade with a sharp _PING_ , the only thing between the shot and his forehead, but the second bullet reaches him and buries itself into his shoulder. With a cry of pain, Ranboo spins around again and takes off running away from the guards.

Adrenaline fueling his legs, Ranboo manages to outpace the guards and escapes their line of sight. Seeing the opportunity to lose them, he dives into the bushes and keeps as quiet as possible, waiting for the guards to go past. Within moments, the guards come around and approach his hiding place, and then run straight past him without so much as a glance into the brush. 

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ranboo turns away from the path and starts making his way through the bushes until he’s out of sight of the road. He sits down on the ground, taking his backpack off, and pulls the collar of his shirt off to the side so he can see the wound the guard’s bullet made. With a wince, he looks at the injury and contemplates what to do. _”I gotta get this bullet out.”_ Taking a long breath, he hovers his hand over the injury for a few moments before reaching into the bullet hole in an attempt to pull the bullet out. With another cry of pain, which he attempts to muffle with his other hand, Ranboo manages to fish the bullet out of shoulder, which is now bleeding more profusely than before. Leg jittering anxiously, he opens up his backpack and rifles through the contents, looking for something he can press over the wound. All he’s able to find is an old sock that he forgot about in the bottom of the bag, gives it a sniff, and upon deciding that it doesn’t smell too bad, he presses it over the wound. With his free hand, he takes some rope from his back and brings it up to tie over the sock to hold it in place. The tie’s awkward, but it seems to suffice.

Ranboo continues to sit there for several more minutes, catching his breath and eating a couple of his stolen apples. After his breather, Ranboo repacks his bag, slings it over his uninjured shoulder, and proceeds through the brush and away from the path that he came from. Eventually, he meets up with another pathway, and decides to walk down it.

A long while later, he comes across a _large_ tree at the base of a mountain, larger than any tree he’s ever seen. Curiously, he approaches the tree, being mindful of his footing this time, and reaches its trunk. He puts a curious hand to the bark, only to find that the trunk’s made of _metal_. Eyebrows quirking up in surprise, Ranboo starts exploratorily knocking his knuckles against the metal tree. A few moments later, he knocks on the tree and the sound is different, and a small hatch opens up in the side of the trunk “What is _this_...?” Ranboo mutters. Looking inside, he sees a small lever. With a shrug, he pulls it down, and hears something click behind him. Quickly he spins around, and sees that a metallic log propped up against a tree rests behind him, a similar hatch in the top having opened up. He can tell that there’s a book inside, but there’s no way for him to reach it. The log’s too smooth to climb and too heavy to push, and the book’s sitting in such a spot that he won’t be able to pry it out with a stick.

Looking around, Ranboo sees more metallic trees in the forest around him, and notices that they seem to be forming a line towards the mountain, going part-way up its side before stopping just above the normal tree line. At the top of the mountain Ranboo spies what he presumes to be a cluster of buildings. “Hmm… Maybe they know what’s up with this book and these trees?” He ponders to himself as he sets off for the mountain.

Reaching the base of the mountain, Ranboo starts to climb his way up. His progress is slow, but he’s gradually making his way to the top. Several hundred feet above the tree line, Ranboo loses his grip on the rocks due to the awkwardly tied sock around his left shoulder and the sword clutched in his right hand, and with a scream he falls down the mountain, dead before he reaches the ground below.

\----------------------------------

“Oh come ON, I rolled an _eighteen_ on my athletics check! What do you MEAN I “fall to my death”??” Ranboo exasperatedly sighs, slumping back in his chair.

Tubbo laughs from his side of the DM screen. “Didn’t roll high enough!”

Ranboo shouts, tone clearly showing that he’s not actually mad, “That was an _EIGHTEEN_ , how did that not pass??”

“Steep mountain?” Tubbo suggests, still laughing at Ranboo’s reaction.

Both teens sit at the table, devolved into pure laughter at Tubbo’s description of Ranboo’s character’s demise.

Eventually, Ranboo throws his hands up in the air with a laugh, “Well! Guess I’m dead! New character time!”

**Author's Note:**

> (Direct transcript from the stream)
> 
> Tubbo: “Do you A, climb the mountain, or B, give up?”
> 
> Ranboo: “I uh… I climb the mountain.”
> 
> Tubbo: “Roll the dice.”
> 
> Ranboo: “Okay, grabbed it, here we go.” _clinking noise_ “Eighteen.”
> 
> Tubbo: “You fall to your death.”
> 
> Ranboo: “WHAT?! WHAT? WHAT ENDING IS THAT?? What kind- I rolled an eighteen! What do you MEAN I fall to my death?”
> 
> Tubbo: “You fall to your death because you didn’t realize I was referencing Gravity Falls.”
> 
> Ranboo: “No I did notice, I just, I- I was-” _incoherent noises_
> 
> Tubbo: “Oh did you? Oh. Okay.”
> 
> Ranboo: “Oh man, MAN, _MAN_.”
> 
> Both: _laughter_
> 
> Ranboo: “Well! Guess I’m dead!”
> 
> Tubbo: “I literally don’t know what D&D is, I just made that up.”
> 
> \----------
> 
> That crackfic was fun to write at 4:30 in the morning. If you want to follow me on Twitter, you can find me at @AzureDiamond51 !


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